Just breaking the surface…

Adjusting to married life didn’t really feel like much of an adjustment. I love/d our little family (myself, my husband, and our 2 dogs).

I’ve been extremely blessed to always have a roof over my head, education, a job, transportation, and an amazing support system. Not everyone in our world today can say they have these things.

After we got married, I accepted a position in HR at a staffing agency . I was excited about the promise for growth in the company, some normalcy with hours (my other job as a free lance makeup artist did not provide that), and it was only a few miles from my house.

I had not been at the job long when I found out we were pregnant. I was scared, excited, optimistic, and ready to take in this new adventure. I unfortunately suffered a miscarriage. It was hard. So many changes at once and I was being taken on an emotional roller coaster. Exactly one month after miscarrying (we didn’t find out until 2 months after) I was pregnant again. We were shocked. Definitely was not expecting it. I just felt off one day and while I was home on a lunch break I took a pregnancy test and there it was, a big fat positive!! NUTS!!! I was instantly terrified.

All I could think about was everything that could go wrong. I was a wreck. The anxiety took an extreme toll on me and on top of that I had the first trimester exhaustion. I couldn’t keep up with work. We ended up losing 2 office people in that time period and I was taking on more and more of a work load. Things were not going well at work and I ended up putting in my notice when I was 12 weeks pregnant.

We announced the pregnancy and on the outside I was elated. I physically had an amazing pregnancy but on the inside I was miserable. Beyond anxious, depressed, scared of the unknown. I look back and wish I would have enjoyed my pregnancy because physically it was probably the best pregnancy a person could have.

I was beginning to realize that my anxiety and what not was only going to keep getting worse if I did not do something and I didn’t want that to have any negative affect on another human being, especially my own child…..

Published by Kathleen Pielhop - Midwest Mama -Creator

I took over my father’s blog September of 2017 after losing his battle with mental illness. This blog was originally to share my journey through grieving, finding peace, and trusting God in the process...and in many ways is exactly that. This has evolved into life as a family of 4 with 2 dogs, living in the Midwest. I will cover everything from fashion to our family routines. Join us on this crazy adventure!

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