Faking it

Imagine going through life faking almost all emotion and interactions.

Oh sure there are things that move me, causing some level of emotion, but very few.

Seeing my daughter and granddaughter on FaceTime excites me. So far I have only seen my granddaughter on FaceTime, she is seven months old, and 1000 miles away.

During the day, at work, some of the time I can laugh and interact appropriately to the moment. Other times I just pull back, put on my headphones and pour myself into my work.

There are some people at work I find fascinating. I actually enjoy interacting with them.

All public interactions are completely fake. I can smile and say the right things at the right times.

At least in my mind this is how things work, but who knows, I might be the only one I’m fooling.

For now I’ll continue to watch life from a safe distance.