Mania or Depression or In-between

Mania or Depression or In-between 

Bipolar Sine-wave

In this post, I’ll start with In-between.  We usually interpret bipolar disorder as either manic or depressed; rarely does anyone talk about the in-between state, euthymia.  The image, though simplistic, pretty much depicts a typical bipolar wave.  Look at the gray line through the middle of the image, that is considered euthymia, where you are neither up or down. You may even experience happiness in this state.  

I never reach that state of mind for than an hour or so here and there.  Most of the time when I’m in the middle, it usually means I’m heavily drugged.  And, even then, I don’t stay there very long.  I have numerous triggers that, can in the blink of an eye, set me off or take me down.   I honestly can’t tell you when I last experienced joy or happiness for more than the length of a phone call or a video chat session with my daughter.

Here is the problem for me, when I’m in the middle, I experience serious anxiety; it’s a catch-22.  I should be calm, maybe even happy; however, I don’t know when the next event, or drama will be.  My wave has no shapely curves like the one above; mine has sharp angular lines.

This text is based solely on my own experiences.  I would really like to hear your thoughts or experiences of the in-between state. 

Stay tuned.  I’ll cover mania and major depression in the near future.